Rasputin

“Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey”
“Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey”

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the tsar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

But when he’s drinking and musting
And hungers of power the kind now drawn more people
Their demands to do something about this outrageous man
Who’re louder and louder

“Hey hey”

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

Waaouyeah

Oh those Russians. 

The mysterious Grigory Efimovich Rasputin, a peasant who claimed powers of healing and prediction, had the ear of Russian Tsarina Aleksandra. The aristocracy could not stand a peasant in such a high position. Peasants could not stand the rumors that the tsarina was sleeping with such a scoundrel. Rasputin was seen as "the dark force" that was ruining Mother Russia.

To save the monarchy, several members of the aristocracy attempted to murder the holy man. On the night of December 16-17, 1916, they tried to kill Rasputin. The plan was simple. Yet on that fateful night, the conspirators found that Rasputin would be very difficult to kill. (Murder of Rasputin)

 Felix offered Rasputin one of the poisoned pastries. Rasputin refused, saying they were too sweet. Rasputin wouldn't eat or drink anything. Felix started to panic and went upstairs to talk to the other conspirators.4 When Felix went back downstairs, Rasputin for some reason had changed his mind and agreed to a few pastries. Then they started drinking the wine.

Though potassium cyanide was supposed to have an immediate effect, nothing happened. Felix continued to chat with Rasputin waiting for something to happen. Noticing a guitar in the corner, Rasputin asked Felix to play for him. The time wore on and Rasputin wasn't showing any effects from the poison. (Murder of Rasputin part 3)

It was amazing and shocking, but after being poisoned, shot three times, and having been beaten with a dumbbell, Rasputin was still alive. They bound his arms and legs with rope and wrapped his body in a heavy cloth. Since it was almost dawn, the conspirators were now in a hurry to get rid of the body. Felix stayed at home to clean himself up. The rest of them placed the body in the car, sped off to their pre-chosen location, and heaved the heavy body over the side of the bridge. They forgot to weigh it down with weights. (Murder of Rasputin part 4)

On December 19, police began looking for a body near the Great Petrovsky Bridge on the Malaya Nevka River, near where a bloody boot had been found the day before. There was a hole in the ice but they couldn't find the body. Looking a little farther downstream, they came upon the corpse floating in another hole in the ice.

When they pulled him out, they found Rasputin's hands were frozen in a raised position, making everyone believe that he had still been alive under the water and had tried to untie the rope around his hands.

Rasputin's body was taken by car to the Academy of Military Medicine where an autopsy was conducted. The autopsy results showed:12

• Alcohol but not poison was found
• Three bullet wounds (first bullet entered the chest on the left, hitting Rasputin's stomach and liver; the second bullet entered the back on the right, hitting the kidneys; the third bullet entered the head, hitting the brain)
• A small amount of water was found in the lungs

The body was buried at the Feodorov Cathedral in Tsarskoe Selo on December 22. A small funeral was held. (Murder of Rasputin part 5)