Ho appena saputo della morte di un amico. Aveva problemi di salute da diversi anni. Troppi problemi. Da alcuni giorni meditavo di trascorrere, alla fine di agosto, alcuni giorni di vacanza a Firenze. E mi chiedevo se avrei fatto in tempo a rivederlo. Ho avuto la risposta a questa domanda.
Quando lasciai l'Italia, quando fuggii, dissi: "Non tornero' ne' per ferie ne' per funerali". In due anni sono tornato solo per votare lo scorso febbraio. E rimasi solo lo stretto necessario. Adesso ero sul punto di infrangere la mia promessa. Non sarei andato solo per lui, ma rivederlo prima che morisse era una delle motivazioni. Ora ho una motivazione in meno.
Provo una strana sensazione. Non il vuoto che molti dicono. E' come se il mulinare di idee e sentimenti che mi si agitava dentro si fosse bloccato, tutto cementato in un muro intonacato a grezzo.
Grigio, grezzo ed immobile.
Passera'.
I've just known that a friend of mine is dead today. He had some health problems since years ago. too many. Since few days ago I was pondering on passing some holidays in Florence. And I asked to myself if I would have been on time to meet him again. I had the answer to my question.
When I left Italy, when I fled, I said: "I won't come back nor for holidays nor for funerals." In two years I went back only for voting last February. And I stayed only for the strictly necessary time to do it. Now I was close to break my decision. I wouldn't have gone just to meet him, but to see him again before he would have died was one of the motivations. Now I have a motivation less.
I feel a odd sensation. Not the void which many people say. It's like the milling of ideas and feelings which always stirs inside myself would be stopped, everything cemented into a coarse and rough plastered wall.
Grey, coarse and immobile.
It will pass.
Quando lasciai l'Italia, quando fuggii, dissi: "Non tornero' ne' per ferie ne' per funerali". In due anni sono tornato solo per votare lo scorso febbraio. E rimasi solo lo stretto necessario. Adesso ero sul punto di infrangere la mia promessa. Non sarei andato solo per lui, ma rivederlo prima che morisse era una delle motivazioni. Ora ho una motivazione in meno.
Provo una strana sensazione. Non il vuoto che molti dicono. E' come se il mulinare di idee e sentimenti che mi si agitava dentro si fosse bloccato, tutto cementato in un muro intonacato a grezzo.
Grigio, grezzo ed immobile.
Passera'.
I've just known that a friend of mine is dead today. He had some health problems since years ago. too many. Since few days ago I was pondering on passing some holidays in Florence. And I asked to myself if I would have been on time to meet him again. I had the answer to my question.
When I left Italy, when I fled, I said: "I won't come back nor for holidays nor for funerals." In two years I went back only for voting last February. And I stayed only for the strictly necessary time to do it. Now I was close to break my decision. I wouldn't have gone just to meet him, but to see him again before he would have died was one of the motivations. Now I have a motivation less.
I feel a odd sensation. Not the void which many people say. It's like the milling of ideas and feelings which always stirs inside myself would be stopped, everything cemented into a coarse and rough plastered wall.
Grey, coarse and immobile.
It will pass.
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